Finding myself, my passion, and my purpose

“We’re the creators of our own experience-remembering this, and living our lives from this perspective, empowers us.”

-Mike Robbins

I believe every human on this world has a purpose. Whether it is their career choice, their family life, their ministry, their brand. We all have choices and opportunities to be great at something.

Somehow with life’s challenges we start to lose ourselves. Our childhood dreams become childhood imaginations. Our eagerness to become great dies and we are succumb to the harsh realities of the world. Utility bills, mortgages, car payments, working a 9 to 5 that we hate. Growing up I had so much ambition to do great things in the world. My family had so much hope for me. Instead, I settled down and built a family. I lost myself in the chaos of it all. I forgot who I was, why I was here, and who I was here for. I slowly but surely forgot about myself. I forgot about my wants and needs as a woman, outside of being a mother and a wife. I forgot to make time for myself and now if you asked me to do just that, I wouldn’t know what to do. I stopped keeping in touch with old friends and extended family. Now I am left alone, depressed, and unsatisfied with life.

Among all of the depression and stress of life and caring for a family, I gained weight…lots of weight. So much weight that I don’t know where to start to even get it off. I became lazy and an introvert. And if anyone knows anything about Leos, they are not at all related to introverts. All this time I knew that I had lost myself, yet I did absolutely nothing to fix my problem. I knew I was a walking disaster. I knew that my life was falling apart. My marriage, my dreams, my relationship with God, my relationship with my children. I was comfortable doing absolutely nothing. I gave up on happy ever afters.  I can officially tell you that I am lost in it all. I am literally sitting on my couch watching it all crumble before me.

I am longing for something different, something new and exciting. Not just a vacation or a break from my children. I am longing for a new way of life. I grew up in a stable home. Where we lived our lives in a routine, waking up just to do the same thing we did yesterday. I didn’t want that type of life for myself or my children. I have always known that my life is what I make it and if I want to live a routine life than it could be that easy. But I want adventure, I want a promising life, I want to learn about myself, I want to build new relationships. I want the child I once was to be proud of who she became!!! 

SO…I started this blog to simply document my journey. Let’s pray to God I get to my goal and I am able to transform this un-hosted blog into something greater than I ever imagined.

So as I take this step forward, the next question is where do I start?